Phoenix Rising – Up From Abuse
Healing Pasts, Empowering Futures
KATHRYN TEMPLE
The Football abuse scandal, Jimmy Saville, Stuart Hall, and Rolf Harris scandals have highlighted that many children and young people have been abused, and have silently carried the trauma of that abuse often through to adulthood.
We have had amazing success in recoding PTSD in adults, young people, and children who have been abused. ITV Anglia did an extended news piece on us following the work we did with someone whose abuser received a substantial prison sentence. BBC Radio 2’s Jeremy Vine also connected with us because of this work. Our reports have been accepted by the CPS and even by defendents’ lawyers.
And for all those that have been to hell and back through the trauma of abuse I salute you. I salute your courage. I salute your ability to keep on keepin’ on despite it all. I salute you as a hero on a hero’s journey. And I want you to know that through Phoenix Rising I can help you and so can the Kindness Warriors that work for me as volunteers.
I have experience of this in my own family. The stepfather of one of my mother’s cousin’s had abused his stepdaughter following the death of her mother, from the age of just 9 years old. He murdered her when she was 16 and received just 10 years imprisonment for his crimes, and was out after 7 years.
And I have an inkling of why people remain silent for so long. I did.
And my tiny tiny experience was nothing at all like the horrific things some of the people I have helped have been through. I only share it because I understand the embarrassment and shame that stops kids and even adults sharing what has happened to them. My story is completely minor. As a 12 year old I went to the cinema one evening with two of my cousins who were older than me. A man came and sat next to me and I wondered why he’d do that when there were so many seats empty. He put his hand on my bare leg above my knee and proceeded to move it up my thigh. I was so mortified, so embarrassed, that in silent torture I sat perfectly still, never murmered, never looked at anything other than that screen, and tried with all my might and two hands to not make a fuss or draw attention to myself as I tried to stop his hand going where it clearly wanted to go. Awful. This silent struggle went on for what felt an age. At ice-cream time and lights on it stopped. And I said to one of my older cousins could I swap places with her as I couldn’t see very well. She swapped places and the man left the cinema. I never said a word about it until I was in my 40s. I think it was because I was so embarrassed and perceived then that it must have been something about me.
And don’t peodophiles completely rely on a chld’s silence and embarrassment, and the freeze response of mortification. Consequently I completely understand why people stay silent for so long. And my experience was absolutely nothing in comparison to the brave courageous younger and older people that I have helped through Phoenix Rising.
I’ve helped boys and girls, young men and young women, and adults to recode the trauma of what has happened to them so that they don’t get flashbacks any more. I’ve helped them restore their pathways to peace, to let go of anger, to let go of anger, resentment, embarrassment, shame, bitterness, and unforgiveness. To rediscover freedom, liberation, serenity, grace, and most importantly Love. Love for themselves, and from their a love for life again, and for others.
All healing is the restoration of resonance. And healing is exactly what happens during this work.
It is humbling to be able to do this work to heal pasts and empower futures. I see faces and bodies soften, eyes find their sparkle, hearts find their peace.
Amongst those we’ve helped, one beautiful young woman went to court to see her stepfather jailed for 21 years for the awful things he did to her that she silently struggled with until she was almost 30. She writes:
‘I feel like my anger, fears, bitterness, and negative feeling are melting away. I feel so empowered, clean, and just amazing. It may sound odd but I feel like an adult at last rather than a child. I cried tears of happiness this morning. I feel elated.’
And she later wrote:
‘My self-image and thinking have completely changed. I now feel so wise and complete as I sit here writing this in my beautiful peaceful garden, seeing my beautiful children happily play. I am sitting here contently being my beautiful self, in my happy healthy body, counting my blessings and appreciating my beautifu life and the beautiful world around me. I have never been happier. Thank you. I am so blessed. I feel so complete. I’m grateful that I managed to become happy now and I’m only 31. I feel I’ve got so many joyful years ahead.’
This is just one of the people I’ve helped through this project. I want to train more people to do this work. There’s many more lives to touch.
When you touch one life you change the future.
Help us to touch more lives. We heal pasts and empower futures. Please make a donation to our work.